Dugouts and Diapers

Jessica Starr Nichols

A Happy Marriage

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What makes a happy marriage? Is it 2 people that love each other? Is it 2 people that never fight? Is it 2 people that go on date night despite having work, school, kids, sport, etc? What is it exactly? Well, for my husband and me, I believe it’s a compilation of things.
1.-OUR ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE AND BE TRANSPARENT. If you are in a marriage where you don’t talk to one another, you need to fix it now! I understand that the day gets overloaded with work, kids, school, chores, etc, and at bedtime you’re exhausted and ready to go to bed,but if you don’t talk to your spouse or listen to your spouse, someone else will. My husband and I are complete opposites. He’s generally very quiet and withdrawn whereas I’m loud and say exactly what I mean at any given time. Some may see it as a flaw, but Adam doesn’t. He compliments me on it because he never has to wonder what I’m thinking or feeling. We talk everyday. Whether he’s working in town or out of town, we talk every single day. We talk about our day, our kids, our families, each other, our hopes, our dreams, ideas for the house, etc. Whatever it is, we talk about it! So if you’re not talking to your spouse everyday, change that today!
2.- WE MAKE TIME TO BE PHYSICALLY INTIMATE. If you are married, and you aren’t having sex with your husband, there’s a problem! I don’t care how old you are or what medical condition you have, if you’re not connecting physically, you need to fix it! Just like listening to your spouse, if you’re not fulfilling their needs physically, someone else will. He or she may not physically have relations with another person, but chances are they’re looking at pictures, watching movies, fantasizing about others, and they are stuck fulfilling their own sexual needs. Sex is beautiful and fun, so in the words of Nike…..”Just Do It”! I understand physical touch isn’t everyone’s love language, but nonetheless, if you are married, you aren’t fully connected with each other and giving your best to each other if you’re not having sex! Send the kids to their own beds for you young couples and enjoy each other physically just as God intended it! The Bible doesn’t call it the marriage and kids bed. It only says the marriage bed! Make the guest room a guest room and share the bed with your spouse for those of you that have now moved to a different bedroom. It’s not too late to move back in. If your spouse snores, get earplugs! Even the more reason to have sex! Sex is exercise, and through exercise, you lose weight, and people at a healthy weight are less likely to snore because of less fat laying on their diaphragm and lungs. If your spouse or yourself hogs the bed, snuggle! That physical touch can lead to intimacy. If you’ve moved out of the bedroom because of any other reason, fix it now! It’s never too late. Allow your children to see your example of sharing a bedroom. Kids know that it’s not normal for their parents to sleep in separate rooms!
3.- PRAY TOGETHER. Last but certainly the most important one, pray together. Not sometimes, but everyday! My husband and I pray at night. Pick your time that’s best for you. It’s awesome to be connected to one another emotionally and physically, but it’s even more wonderful to be connected spiritually. I pray to Jesus like He’s sitting right next to me like He’s my very best friend. I keep it real and say exactly what I’m thinking and feeling to Him, whereas my husband has such an elegance in his prayer. It’s beautiful to listen too, whereas mine might be somewhat comical. Whatever your prayer style is, just pray. God knows your heart! He knows your personality, heck, He made you! A marriage that is connected spiritually can take on anything, because those of you who are married, you know it’s hard. It’s a job somedays, but a job completely worth it. So even when times are tough, and you’re mad as fire at your spouse, after you COMMUNICATE about the problem and make up from the fight PHYSICALLY, then PRAY together and thank God for your spouse and for that fight and use it to grow closer to each other and God.

I am so extremely in love with my husband, and I hope this serves as guidance for someone that’s in need. We’ve had a 2 year marriage full of hurts, disappointments, fights, tears, but far more laughter, joy, happiness, good talks, GREAT sex, and beautiful moments of prayer. I’m a true believer in loving everyone, but especially your spouse!


Author: jstarrnichols

I'm a wife, mother, daughter, and friend. I love Jesus, my family, my friends, and my life. I enjoy writing, yoga, laughing, and spending time with my manclan. I’m merely striving to be the best version of myself.

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