Dugouts and Diapers

Jessica Starr Nichols

When Your Purpose is Foggy

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Have you ever wondered, “What is my purpose?” I know that I was created to glorify God, but I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about being impactful, changing lives. When I was teaching and coaching, I felt like I impacted lives every single day. Even when I worked in healthcare, I felt like I at least helped to change lives by making people better. Ever since God chose to have me be a stay-at-home wife and mother, I have struggled to find my purpose. Sometimes I even feel alone, and I love to be around people and talk to people. This question has been at the forefront of my mind for the last couple of months, especially. It was two weeks ago that God showed me that I am never alone and just how purposeful my life really is. I was running the trail at a park here in town, and I began to cry because I felt so alone, and as I was surrounded by the trees, flowers, grass, dirt, and sunshine, God reminded me that He was right there with me amongst His creation. I’m never alone, and that’s such a comfort!

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Those that know me well, know that I thoroughly enjoy working in the yard, tending to plants, and growing my own vegetables. God had a sense of humor when it came to me asking Him to show me how in the world I was impacting lives by being a stay-at-home wife and mom. A man from our church that is old enough to be my grandfather knows that I find joy in working with plants so he has asked me a few times to help him dig some holes, pull weeds, spray fertilizer, and tasks such as that on the church grounds. He is a Master Gardener, and I always learn so much when I work with him. I never go into helping him expecting anything except the knowledge I gain when I depart his company, but every time I have helped him, he gives me a tree or a bush which he has grown from seeds for me to take home and care for. I’m impacting his life, someone I view as a little older and much wiser, by simply helping him with tasks that we both enjoy. Every plant he gives me is God’s way of reminding me that I impacted this man’s life and to give me one more thing to take care of at home. Hahaha. He and I planted all of the trees, bushes, and flowers pictured above, and this morning, as I was helping him spray and dispose of some weeds, I took pictures of the fruits of our labor. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!

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I get to wake these boys up every morning, fix their breakfast, pack Banks’ lunch, take them and pick them up from wherever they are, check Banks’ homework, help him study, fix them supper, be at every school play or ballgame, volunteer at Banks’ school, etc….. These are not things I ever found joy in until God chose to redirect my path. I impact the lives of my children everyday. Although I received much joy in impacting the lives of other people’s children when I taught school and coached, my own babies were being left out. I’m certainly not a perfect mother, but I know I do an awesome job, which is evident in the character of my children, and I’m so thankful that God knew better than me as to what path my life needed to follow.

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Oh this man right here!!!! I can only pray that I impact his life half as much as he impacts mine! When my life was so consumed with a daily schedule, I didn’t see what I needed to do for him. I love having his coffee and breakfast ready every morning, doing his laundry every week, laying out his clothes every night for the next day, cooking him meals, cleaning our house every week because he likes a clean home, and just talking to him and spending time with him. God showed me that I impact my husband’s life everyday as well. I absolutely cannot wait to grow old with this man!

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So when you have those days when you can’t seem to figure out your purpose, ask Him to remind you or show you. The plan I had for my life was far different than the one He had mapped out for me, and I’m so incredibly thankful that He knows better than me. I’m so thankful His “hope and future” for my life was totally different than what I had planned. All I would have done is made a big mess with it, but He’s created a masterpiece!

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Author: jstarrnichols

I'm a stay at home mom that daily strives to be a Proverbs 31 woman to my husband and children.

One thought on “When Your Purpose is Foggy

  1. Beautifully said dear Jessica. I’m so very thankful for you. You are a gift from God to our family.

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