Everyone uses adjectives to describe another person. For instance, “She’s sweet. He’s handsome. They are kind.” All of those things are great, but why are you the person that you are? What has happened in your life that molded you into the person that you are today? Movies have a theme song. I’ve heard people exclaim, “Oh, turn that up! That’s my theme song!” Well, I love to sing, and I know a lot of songs, but I’ve never heard one song, in particular, and thought…WOW! That describes me perfectly. That all changed a few months ago when I heard the song Clean by Natalie Grant. If you haven’t heard it, you can listen to it here.
As I’ve mentioned before, I despise disappointing people, especially people I love, especially my parents and family, especially God. Well, disappointment is inevitable. The thing is, I beat myself up far worse than anything anyone else could say to me or about me. I’m my own worst critic. When I had Banks, I felt so filthy and dirty. I felt like my life was over. I was scared. I was lost, but thankfully, I wasn’t alone. Although I couldn’t see it then, God used Banks to change my life. He used Banks to make me who I am today.
Today, I’m a new creation. I’m a Christian! My life has a purpose. I’m a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I’m a Type A, highly organized, extreme clean freak, goal-oriented, leader, caregiver, genuine, outgoing, hard-headed, emotional, and loving person.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in life, but I’ve learned from them. I’ve allowed awful, unfortunate circumstances make and mold me into a better person. Until you’ve been a single parent, you have no earthly idea how difficult it is. You don’t know how hard it will make you to have people not want to be your friend or date you because you have a child. You don’t know what tired is until you’ve worked two jobs and gone to school in order to provide for another human. You don’t know how worthless you feel when someone you love and respect tells you you’re a terrible wife and a terrible mother, when they haven’t even taken the time to get to know you. You don’t know how strong you are until it is the only choice you have! These things have made me the woman I am today, and God used these experiences to show me that in Him, I’m clean! Where others may see broken, dirty, worthless, or shattered, He sees beautiful, clean, treasured, and whole! What an awesome God! I’m so thankful that my worth is found in Him and Him alone. I’m so thankful for parents, a sister, a brother, a husband, children, and family that see past the hurt and see all the love I have to give. I’m thankful for incredible, true friends that love me and know that they can count on me anytime. I’m so thankful for a Heavenly Father that gave me a tough road in order to bring me to the foot of His cross. I’m thankful that I’m not yet made perfect, but I rest in the fact of knowing that, “He’s restoring me piece by piece.”
What’s your theme song? What have you been through that has changed your life? Is your life currently tough? Well, keep walking. Don’t stop! Don’t give up! Call out to Jesus! He’s not going to turn you away. How can I pray for you this week?